They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
