She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
