its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
