did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
