Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
