and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
