Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
