doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Someone signed my nipple.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
