Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
