But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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