just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
