You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
