just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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