just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
