You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
