Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
