All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
