when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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