I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
