Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
