Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
