I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
