I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
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