i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
