This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
