operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize