It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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