How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
