Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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