Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize