it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
