But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
