i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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