There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
