All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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