Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
