I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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