so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize