Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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