She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
