somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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