One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You smell like a Billy Joel song
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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