pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
