happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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