I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
