you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
