Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
