yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
