btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm getting married
To pizza
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
