My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
