there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
